• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Alcohol Addiction
    • Alcohol Addiction
    • Alcohol Detox
    • Alcohol Rehab
    • Alcoholism, Addiction And Recovery
    • Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms
    • Get Help For Alcohol Addiction
    • Alcohol & Alcoholism
    • Stop Drinking Alcohol
    • Alcohol Detox At Home
    • Counselling For Alcohol Addiction
    • Alcohol Drinks Journal
    • Alcohol Units Guide
  • Drug Addiction
    • Drug Addiction
      • Drug Detox
      • Drug Rehab
    • Cocaine Addiction
      • Cocaine Detox
      • Cocaine Rehab
    • Cannabis Addiction
      • Cannabis Detox
      • Cannabis Rehab
    • Heroin Addiction
      • Heroin Detox
      • Heroin Rehab
    • Amphetamine Addiction
    • Crack Addiction
    • Crystal Meth Addiction
    • GHB Addiction
    • Ketamine Addiction
    • Mephedrone Addiction
    • Prescription Drug Addiction
    • Steroid Addiction
  • Helping Others
    • Help For My Addicted Husband
    • Help For My Wife
    • Help For My Son
    • Help For A Loved One
    • Help For My Daughter
    • Help For A Work Colleague
    • Help For A Friend
    • Help For Myself
  • Locations
  • Prescription Drugs
    • Prescription Drug Rehab
    • Prescription Drug Detox
    • Pregabalin Addiction
    • Hydrocodone Addiction
    • Oxycodone Addiction
    • Benzodiazepine Addiction
    • Fentanyl Addiction
    • Valium Addiction
  • Online Rehab
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
Help 4 Addiction Logo

Help 4 Addiction

Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation

Trustpilot

Call Us: 0203 955 7700

Get Rehab Prices Start Your Consultation
  • Alcohol Addiction
        • Alcohol Addiction
        • Alcohol Detox
        • Alcohol Rehab
        • Alcoholism, Addiction And Recovery
        • Get Help For Alcohol Addiction
        • Alcohol & Alcoholism
        • Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms
        • Stop Drinking Alcohol
        • Alcohol Detox At Home
        • Counselling For Alcohol Addiction
        • Alcohol Drinks Journal
        • Alcohol Units Guide
  • Drug Addiction
        • Drug Addiction
          • Drug Detox
          • Drug Rehab
        • Cocaine Addiction
          • Cocaine Detox
          • Cocaine Rehab
        • Cannabis Addiction
          • Cannabis Detox
          • Cannabis Rehab
        • Heroin Addiction
          • Heroin Detox
          • Heroin Rehab
        • Amphetamine Addiction
        • Crack Addiction
        • Crystal Meth Addiction
        • GHB Addiction
        • Ketamine Addiction
        • Mephedrone Addiction
        • Steroid Addiction
        • Prescription Drug Addiction
  • Helping Others
        • Help For My Addicted Husband
        • Help For My Wife
        • Help For A Friend
        • Help For My Son
        • Help For My Daughter
        • Help For A Work Colleague
        • Help For A Loved One
        • Help For Myself
  • Locations
  • Prescription Drugs
        • Prescription Drug Rehab
        • Prescription Drug Detox
        • Benzodiazepine Addiction
        • Fentanyl Addiction
        • Oxycodone Addiction
        • Hydrocodone Addiction
        • Pregabalin Addiction
        • Valium Addiction
  • Online Rehab
  • Blog
  • Contact Us

Givers, Takers, Cooperators And Addicts

2nd April 2018 by Nicholas Conn

Last updated on March 25th, 2022 at 07:04 am

Fundamentally, when dealing with the human psyche there are three groups that present themselves.

Givers: people who work intensely hard and supporting the fellow man, have a very strong ethical philosophy, morality, and willing to do everything for their fellow human being.

Takers: individuals who have a very parasitic lifestyle. People who take, to meet their own needs and ambitions and they are completely amoral. These self-serving individuals will leave nothing but destruction in their wake, especially when they get what they want. These individuals love givers, because they will find them, and just keep taking, more and more time, effort, money, emotion and physical energy.

I suppose the first two are very common in life, as they quite readily identify through personal experiences, workplaces, and general interactions that you may have with friends and family.

The co-operators: this group is a fine balance between the two, primarily, they are people who are willing to help, but they will ask for a fair trade in return. These individuals work well with givers and will thrive when placed in a situation where there is mutual benefit. Co-operators, however, do not work well with takers. A co-operator will always presume someone is a giver, however, when a taker has been identified the reaction is one of adversity. A co-operator will completely shut down any interaction with the taker, thereby ensuring that they are protected from parasitic interactions.

The difficulty with a co-operator, from the perspective of the giver, is in a particular mind, there is a striking similarity between the co-operators and the takers. This is usually because when a taker is attempting to get what they want, they may be aggressive, direct, bullying in their quest for power and control. A co-operator will sometimes use similar direct language, and other takers like behaviours to communicate the fact that they will not take any form of shenanigans when dealing with any individual.  This can often be perceived as aggression, or some other undesirable behaviour by the giver and therefore they find it difficult to interact with people who present similar characteristics to individuals who found them in the past.

 

How to spot the difference between a co-operator and a taker?

The Co-operator will present with the following characteristics: direct, firm, fair, have their own perspective which is not clouded by self-interest, is a person that will take no shenanigans from no one, will assist you when you need and will encourage an equal sharing of give-and-take in the relationship.

The Taker: this individual will be very charming from the outset, very strong and intense in both positive and negative emotion towards you, will constantly make them the focus of your attention, likely to play mind games and other form of emotional control such as exploiting guilt, feigning weakness and other empathetic natures of givers, a one-way relationship: everything good goes their way, their ambitions and self-interest are paramount.

Alas, I cannot assist takers. I do empathise with them, in the sense that they have only been made into takers by example from another taker, abuse both physical and mental, domestic violence, or some other tragedy within their lives where these individuals saw the only way to get out of it was to fight their way out of it. It does not, however, mean we should fall victim to predatory behaviour, after all, as well as Carpe Diem (seize the day) the Romans also came up with the phrase quid pro quo (something for something). Perhaps we should start exploring the latter alongside Carpe Diem for a more balanced and fair society that promotes good mental health.

When we examine this in terms of addiction it is addiction which changes our state of mind. If you imagine a giver who was then exposed to something like alcohol, video game, drug or any form of addiction, the addiction starts doing the talking. This is when a giver will change behaviour into a taker, because of the simple fact the addiction of choice sustains the individual’s needs, and even though these emotional needs may be a comfort or something which is beneficial to the individual, the way of securing those means is very taker like.

This makes people feel insecure because it turns what may have been a very honest individual into someone who might now be turning into a frequent flyer, displaying a disregard for other pupils in relationships such as wives, children’s other families etc. This can be very painful to watch, and even more painful to experience for all parties concerned.

What therapy aims to do in whatever form you decide to take it up is to re-address the balance. It takes us from a state of being a temporary taker, presents those unacceptable forms of behaviour, addresses them, and reminds us of our giver-like tendencies. The idea is that the individual in therapy will become more balanced in terms of their emotional state, be ever more reflective upon their own behaviour, taking other perspectives to allow them to see the best course of action for them.

There is no guarantee in any form of therapy that you will gain the results that you are after. However, if you are committed, if you are really 100% dedicated to shedding the addictive personality, and breaking free from the taker like traits you can find your own personal renaissance. This enlightenment will not come easily, and there will be tears, there will be struggles as you begin to face yourself, but they will also be joy, liberation, reconnection, and that can be just as strong as any high that you can gain from any addiction.

I wish you the best of luck in finding your own personal renaissance in your quest for better mental health.

Brian Turner

Filed Under: Latest News

Sharing is Caring

About Nicholas Conn

Nicholas Conn is a leading industry addiction expert who runs the UK's largest addiction advisory service and is regularly featured in the national press, radio and TV. He is the founder and CEO of a drug and alcohol rehab center called Help4addiction, which was founded in 2015. He has been clean himself since 2009 and has worked in the Addiction and Rehab Industry for over a decade. Nick is dedicated to helping others recover and get treatment for drug and alcohol abuse. In 2013, he released a book 'The Thin White' line that is available on Amazon.

Primary Sidebar

  • FREE CALLBACK SERVICE

    We offer a free
    callback service 24/7

    Simply enter your number below
    and our addiction counsellors will call
    you back in a few minutes.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Related Articles

Things to Consider Before Choosing a Rehab Clinic in London

15th June 2022 By Nicholas Conn Leave a Comment

Steroid Abuse: Know the Signs

8th June 2022 By Nicholas Conn Leave a Comment

Have you Taken a Tramadol Overdose?

30th May 2022 By Nicholas Conn Leave a Comment

Am I Enabling My Addicted Loved One?

20th May 2022 By Nicholas Conn Leave a Comment

5 Ways to Tackle a Family Member with Addiction

13th May 2022 By Nicholas Conn Leave a Comment

Tags

Adderall addiction Alcohol Alcohol Allergy Alcohol Poisoning Alcohol Poisoning Treatment Brighton child addict cocaine Codeine coun detox Devon - Paignton Drug addiction drugs dry january England Essex - Brentwood family festive Halloween Hertford home detox Kent - Goudhurst ketamine librium London Magic Mushrooms meth Naloxone online rehab Pancreatitis party drugs porn Recovery rehab relapse self-care Sheffield signs staying sober Stoke On Trent teenagers tramadol xanax

Footer

Get Help Now

  • Phone 0203 955 7700 or enter your phone number and get a call back.

    FREE CALL BACK SERVICE 24/7

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

About Help 4 Addiction

Help 4 Addiction’s experienced support team are always on hand to offer you the most personal and cost effective options available for alcohol and drug addiction treatment

0203 955 7700
support@help4addiction.co.uk

Additional Links

  • Private Residential Rehab Clinics
  • Alcohol Addiction
  • Alcohol Rehab & Addiction Treatment
  • Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms
  • Online Therapy
  • Detox from Home

Get Help Now

  • Phone 0203 955 7700 or enter your phone number and get a call back.

    FREE CALL BACK SERVICE 24/7

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

© 2022 Help 4 Addiction. All Rights Reserved.

  • Privacy
  • Terms & Conditions
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT