In traditional addiction treatment, we learn that it is believed that alcoholism has a hereditary basis. And…often times initially we tend to become angry with our parents for their genetics. We even blame them for our addictions sometimes.
What if as souls not yet born on earth, we decided what we wanted to learn on earth once we arrived? And, what if those learnings came as experiences? So let’s say we decided to experience compassion. Therefore, what if we chose our parents before our birth – picked them out because we knew they could help us with the experiences we desired to have on planet earth? Does that sound too crazy and woo woo?
Well, as creators (we do create with our emotions and thoughts which become our beliefs which create our experiences) growing up in that addictive family system, we learned to play a certain role. Systems are finely balanced with each individual part having its own duty and position. In the addictive family, each person gives off a certain energy that keeps the system in tact. The intention is a positive one even though it may not appear so. Each family member is attempting to say, “Notice me, “ “Love me,” “Help me,” “I’m hurting, “ I matter but I don’t think you believe that.”
So what if as souls, we chose our families so we could learn through duality who we truly are rather than who we thought we were by our family role? The inner self talk for each role played in the addictive family was, “I am worthless – I don’t count – Something is wrong with me.” Isn’t that a perfect way to learn compassion for ourselves and others?
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The roles have not been about judgment. They have been a way to recognize that we are all magnificent, powerful beings playing the games of forgetfulness on earth. If you are reading this article, your alarm is sounding and it is time to wake up and remember your greatness and release the birth role you have played.
If you were the oldest child, can you now have compassion for yourself and let go of the need to be a perfectionist, a caretaker, having low self worth and needing to control your environment?
If you were the middle child, can you now have compassion for yourself and let go of the need to be sick, suffer from depression and isolation, having low self worth and needing to control your environment? Or, can you now let go of your defiant attitude, irresponsible behaviors, verbal abuse, low self worth and need to control your environment?
If you were the youngest child, can you now have compassion for yourself and let go of the inability to commit, feelings of incapability, continual joking, low self worth and the need to control your environment?
What if you now became grateful to Mom and Dad for being such fabulous teachers – teachers you chose to help you remember your magnificence by finding clarity in the chaos of addiction. How does it get any better than that?
Jyude Allbright
