Is My Partner an Alcoholic? The Key Signs Explained
If you’re concerned that your partner is an alcoholic, it’s important that you understand the signs and symptoms. This is the first step towards getting treatment.
Alcohol use disorder, often shortened to AUD, is a medical condition that involves the lack of control over drinking alcohol. Alcohol addiction can impact a person’s physical health, mental health and overall well-being.
A national survey showed that roughly 14.1 million adults aged 18 and over had AUD in 2019. Likewise, over 414,000 young people between the ages of 12 and 17 had AUD in 2019.
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Although everybody may have different drinking habits, some people abuse alcohol more than others. Unlike moderate drinking, alcohol abuse or problem drinking is a dangerous drinking pattern that often involves binge drinking.
Some people who abuse alcohol may only drink alcohol a couple of times a week but will consume a dangerous amount during a short period. This can cause negative health effects, putting people at a higher risk of physical health problems – in both the short term and long term.
It can impact a person’s relationships – it’s rarely just the person with the addiction who is impacted by alcoholism – it’s husbands, wives, children and loved ones too.
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What are Some of the Key Warning Signs in an Alcoholic Partner?
Some of the most common signs of alcoholism are social isolation, alcohol becoming a top priority in their life, the inability to function without alcohol, and partner violence. The signs of alcohol addiction can vary from person to person. Some people with alcohol addiction can successfully hide their negative driving habits both from themselves and their loved ones.
These people are often labelled ‘functional alcoholics’ or ‘high-functioning alcoholics’. However, there are some signs to look out for that may suggest your partner, husband, or wife has a drinking problem or is dependent on alcohol.
Alcoholism may not be obvious in the early stages of the addiction, but it can progress. If your partner is unable to function with alcohol, then they most likely have alcohol dependence.
Alcohol addiction has been linked to risky sexual behaviours, as well as intimate partner violence. It can be difficult to watch any loved one get affected by alcohol addiction. It can turn a healthy relationship into an unhealthy relationship.
Below are a few qustions to ask yourself to get your answer;
Does My Partner Prioritise Drinking Over Everything Else?
Yes, if your partner consistently puts drinking before work, family, hobbies, or other responsibilities, this is a major warning sign of alcoholism. When alcohol becomes the top priority in someone’s life, it indicates they’ve lost control over their drinking. Your partner might start missing work regularly, calling in sick after heavy drinking sessions, or struggling to meet basic responsibilities at home.
They may abandon hobbies they once enjoyed or stop participating in family activities that don’t involve alcohol. Social isolation often follows as your partner begins to prioritise drinking over spending time with loved ones.
They might make excuses to avoid family gatherings, skip important events, or choose drinking over meaningful conversations with you and your children.
This shift in priorities doesn’t happen overnight, but once it begins, it tends to escalate quickly. If you’ve noticed your partner choosing alcohol over other aspects of life consistently, this behaviour suggests a serious drinking problem.
Why Does My Partner Continue Drinking Despite Problems?
Your partner continues drinking despite problems because alcoholism is a disease that affects the brain’s decision-making processes. Even when they can see the negative consequences – damaged relationships, health issues, financial problems – the addiction compels them to keep drinking.
This behaviour is one of the clearest signs of alcohol addiction. Your partner might acknowledge that drinking is causing problems in your relationship, affecting their health, or hurting the family financially, yet they still can’t stop.
This isn’t a lack of willpower – it’s how addiction works. Many people with alcohol addiction attempt to quit or cut back on their own, sometimes succeeding for days or weeks before relapsing.
This cycle of attempts and failures is typical of the disease and shows that professional help is needed. The rational part of your partner’s mind knows drinking is causing harm, but the addicted brain overrides these logical thoughts, making continued drinking feel necessary despite the consequences.
How Can I Tell If My Partner Is Experiencing Withdrawal Symptoms?
You can tell if your partner is experiencing withdrawal symptoms by watching for physical and mental changes when they haven’t been drinking for several hours or days. These symptoms are different from typical hangovers and tend to be more severe and long-lasting.
People with alcohol dependence typically experience withdrawal symptoms when they stop drinking or lower the amount they usually drink. If you notice your partner feeling unwell after drinking, it is most likely a hangover. However, if this becomes a pattern and lasts longer than a day or so, it may be a sign of addiction.
Part of withdrawal involves craving alcohol – if your partner begins to crave alcohol, then they could have an addiction. Some symptoms include:
- Headache
- Nausea and vomiting
- Changes in appetite
- Fever
- Tremors (in hands)
- Stomach ache
- Sweating
- Red face
- Seizures
- Trouble sleeping
- Alcohol cravings
- Hallucinations
- Anxiety
- Other mental health problems such as depression or intense mood swings
The nature of these symptoms can vary depending on the severity of the addiction as well as other personal factors. The length of time that withdrawal lasts can also vary from person to person.
What Does It Mean When My Partner Can’t Control Their Drinking?
When your partner can’t control their drinking, it means they’ve lost the ability to limit how much, how often, or when they drink alcohol.
If you notice that your partner struggles to control the amount of time they drink, how often they drink, how much they drink, or when they stop drinking, then they could have an alcohol problem.
However, it may be difficult to tell the difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction when checking for these signs alone. This is because alcohol abuse typically involves a lack of control when drinking – drinking too much, too often, or for too long.
If your partner is showing signs of struggling to stop drinking once they start – whether it be on the same evening or the morning after, they could be addicted.
Why Does My Partner Have Such a High Tolerance for Alcohol?
Your partner has a high tolerance for alcohol because their body has adapted to regular, heavy drinking by processing alcohol more efficiently.
Another sign to look out for if you think your loved one may be an alcoholic is their tolerance – people with alcohol dependence will typically have a higher tolerance to alcohol as their body is used to it.
They may appear sober after drinking a large amount or be able to ‘handle’ their alcohol a lot better than other people. However, this can also depend on personal factors such as height and weight.
Can My Partner’s Drinking Behaviour Be Treated Successfully?
Yes, your partner’s drinking behaviour can be treated successfully with the right combination of professional help, support, and commitment to recovery.
If you have an alcoholic spouse or alcoholic partner, or you’re simply worried about your partner’s drinking, you don’t have to go about it alone – there is help out there, and you can seek treatment. Sometimes simply attending support groups isn’t enough, and a stronger treatment plan is needed.
Addiction treatment begins with detoxification, which addresses physical dependence. Therapy is another key aspect of rehab. This can address psychological addiction and help to repair relationships with loved ones, including children. It can also teach valuable coping strategies to manage and prevent relapse and help to relieve stress.
At Help4Addiction, we have been helping people overcome alcohol addictions for years. We can take the time to listen to your alcoholic husband or wife’s story, requirements, and preferences to find the right alcohol addiction treatment facilities for them.
Whether they require outpatient treatment at an outpatient rehab facility or rehab on an inpatient basis (inpatient rehab) at a residential rehab facility, we can find the right addiction services for them to begin their recovery journey.
About Author
Nick Conn
Nicholas Conn is a leading industry addiction expert who runs the UK’s largest addiction advisory service and is regularly featured in the national press, radio and TV. He is the founder and CEO of a drug and alcohol rehab center called Help4addiction, which was founded in 2015. He has been clean himself since 2009 and has worked in the Addiction and Rehab Industry for over a decade. Nick is dedicated to helping others recover and get treatment for drug and alcohol abuse. In 2013, he released a book ‘The Thin White’ line that is available on Amazon.
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